The Next Stage in Aydan’s Recovery!

I’ve been contemplating over the past several months what should be the next step in Aydan’s Road to Recovery.  It is a daunting task to look at such a complex issue and decide.. what next?

Last December at this time I was returning from Massachusetts where I attended the week-long Son Rise program at the Autism Treatment Center.  Thanks to fans, friends and family, I was successfully able to raise most of the funds needed to make the most out of the experience.  I felt blessed and humbled.

A year into the program, I feel the most important thing I learned was to make time for Aydan.  One on one time… And truly be present for that hour or so that we spend in the playroom.  Focus only him and not on the goals.. Not on the fears of the future or the regrets of the past.  It is our time together, that moment of mindful meditation where I join him in his world without judgment or agenda.  Yes, we have goals but when I am in his world, isming (stimming) along side, I think not of these… I wait for an opportunity from Aydan with a gesture, a look, often a smile or a laugh to build something together.

20160908_122108We have a lot of fun too!

But my question remains… What next?  I considered another fundraiser to go back and further my Son-Rise education.  But while, Aydan has shown improvement in engagement and communication as well as a significant reduction in anxiety, he remains pre-verbal and chronically ill due to his gut disorder.

We have been working on sign language for several years and Aydan continues to use a variety of signs, though it doesn’t seem nearly enough to help him express himself.  He is limited in his ability to use ASL due to difficulties in fine motor and it is a different language after all, to be truly fluent it may take several years.  At 12 1/2 years old, I decided to re-consider AAC (Augmentation Assistive Communication) devices.  We had tried this many years earlier when Aydan was still in school with a moderate amount of success but the school refused funding (big surprise). Now that he is homeschooled we receive no funding whatsoever from the school district, I looked to insurance, they never got back to me but I was able to find several scholarship opportunities through non-profits and Aydan was awarded two… that’s TWO free iPad scholarships along with apps for communication.  We’ve been working on it the past couple months and he’s flying through the stages.

Having said that I have been researching the Rapid Prompt Method (RPM), a teaching modality for non-verbal autistic people.  RPM has been able to help many of the most severe cases of non-verbal autism find a voice.  This testimonial is from Ido, author of Ido in Autismland.  He is a non-verbal young adult who has discovered his talent for communicating through his writing…

So now, let me tell you what I have. Autism for me is a severe problem.

How would you like it if your thoughts didn’t reach your body consistently? What I mean is that your thoughts are intact but internally neurological forces block them from your motor system so that messages get messed up, or ignored, or occasionally they get through. That can resemble not understanding, but it is not.

Nevertheless, the person cannot necessarily demonstrate intact thinking due to the motor issues that block speaking, handwriting, gestures, facial expressions, initiating actions, and more. So, smart intact people may spend years, or even their whole lives, in a body that traps them behind weird movements and unreliable, inconsistent responses. More than that, neurological forces may affect the sensory system, making sounds too loud or visual stimulation overwhelming. The frustration is compounded by autism experts who dumb down learning because of their belief that autism is a language processing problem.

When I was young I did ABA. No offense to any ABA people here, but for me it was a horrid experience. I found those early years of drills and reinforcements an exercise in boredom because I already knew the vocabulary they taught. I just had unreliable hands to point to the flashcards accurately. The baby talk, and most frustrating, the supervision sessions that never worked on my real challenges, made me feel frustrated and angry. Worse, the theories probably delayed my mom’s ability to recognize my true potential by several years, at least.

No offense to any Floortime people here, but I never got much out of my sessions because my play was so delayed when I was small. I craved more than the games I got. But my Floortime was minimal. I was drowning in ABA drills instead.

No offense to OT people here, but what I desperately needed was motor control and physical fitness, and I never got that. I got swings that spun me. Once until I barfed.

No offense to special ed teachers, but when I couldn’t show my intelligence, I still was thinking. But all I got was one plus one, ABC and the weather. My recommendation is to teach at least some age appropriate lessons and books, even before the student can express his thoughts. Who knows how much is locked inside?

My helpers were kind and well meaning, but the way I was taught missed my real needs for communication and motor control simply because the methods assumed I did not understand spoken language and therefore needed a rudimentary lifestyle.

What helped? Soma did. She gave me the ability to type on a letter board when I was seven through her method, Rapid Prompt Method, or RPM. This has progressed to a keyboard and ipad. Because of this, I am a general education student, college bound, on the high honor roll in AP classes and even learning a foreign language. I work out with a trainer and I hike and run and row on a machine at home. I also took piano lessons. These things helped me.

To all the professionals I offended earlier, sorry. I admire your devotion, compassion and caring. I challenge you to see your nonverbal autistic students differently and with high expectations for learning.

I take Ido’s recommendations very seriously and regard him has a brilliant philosopher and thinker (which has grown increasingly rare in our modern times).  Were he to have remained in his silent prison, what a loss this would have been to the rest of us to never hear his wise words.

Rapid Prompt (RPM) may seem very different from Son-Rise but many Son-Rise families use it and one thing they both have in common is unwavering belief in the affected individual’s ability, no matter how ‘severe’ they may seem to be.  Not being able to speak most certainly does not mean not having anything to say!!

I’ll be continuing to look into this further and looking for more ways I can begin implementing RPM techniques.

At the end of the day; however, the vaccine injury always rears its ugly head and I am reminded of how far away we are from recovery.  I know the word ‘recovery’ can be misleading or even offensive to some.. For me it has taken on different meanings over the years.  I once believed it meant reversing the diagnosis of autism, I’ve seen this happen with other children and it is quite a miracle.  Today, I see recovery as not the removal of a label but rather the ability to communicate with ease and comfortably.  To live without chronic pain… I see Ido as recovered! Though he may appear to the naked eye as a person with severe autism who cannot speak, most of those who speak with ease don’t have nearly as much to say..

Anyway.. the original question remains.. What next?

The next stage, I’m afraid is a return to the first… The vaccine injury, the severe gut disease that had my son living with chronic diarrhea for 2 years and that has caused us to change our dietary restrictions on average about 3-4 times per year.  Each time an allergy is identified and kept under control a new one emerges, like a game of whack-a-mole.  Then we think, maybe the food restrictions aren’t helping and we shouldn’t make such a big deal about it, only to find matters getting worse, old symptoms returning, excessive weight gain and so on…  Some days might seem okay while others are a non stop effort to try to figure out what is wrong… Is it a migraine… Is it your stomach… If so, is it hunger or gas or cramps or what… The inflammation caused by the autistic enterocolitis never seems to want to go away, at best it appears to be playing a game of peek-a-boo.

If we care to make the most of our Son-Rise program and implement RPM, (which of course I do), we must address the chronic pain.  I can only imagine the feeling of trying to work, learn and play only to be hindered by illness.

So, I made an effort to get us back to Austin and make a visit to Aydan’s GI specialist and MAPS doctor at the Johnson Center.  The Johnson Center does offer partial scholarships for families in need and we were able to get funding for our trip through Miracle Flights (yes, a plane… A little scary, I know but we’ll make it through).  Since we are fortunate enough to have friends and family in the area, lodging and transportation is also covered.  We will be accepting donations for the remainder of our clinical visits totaling 3 per year (1 in office, 2 via phone / Skype) in the amount of $415 as well as another $400 for testing, on-going supplements and/or dietary changes as needed.

We can do nothing to change what has been done but we can look forward with solutions in mind.  May we all continue to pray for Aydan’s ‘recovery’.  I pray one day, like Ido, he will be one day released from his silent prison.

I am an autistic guy with a message. I spent the first half of my life completely trapped in silence. The second – on becoming a free soul. – Ido

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Prayers, shares and donations are appreciated.  If you can spare a few dollars go to, Aydan’s youcaring campaign, here

Or Send Bitcoin here: 1N9Tkd4sXffcrf2WggTrUyQTRt6DMBvZxC

Thank you!

-If you love someone with autism and want more information on the grants and scholarships mentioned in this article, check out: Holiday Giving… The Truth About Autism Speaks and Non-Profits!

 

 

 

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Falsify! Are Vaccines A Science?

Falsify! Is Vaccination a Science?

Join me as I walk you through the concept of science versus pseudo-science or myth, using examples from religion and modern science, as we then take on VACCINATION. Is it “falsifiable?” Is it “Safe and Effective” as proponents claim? What is the true state of vaccination? And what are the “ad hoc” excuses that vaccine supporters make when they realize they’re supporting a pseudo-science?

How the Vaccine Industry Uses Hollywood, Mind Control and Force to Create a ‘Brave New World’ of Transhumans!

“Men (people) are rarely aware of the real reasons which motivate their actions.”
Edward L. Bernays

Imagine this… You are a parent of a beautiful, healthy child.  You love this child more than you thought possible. You spent your whole life thinking that you understood the meaning of love until now… Now you KNOW… This is IT.  It’s shocking!  While you just met this person, this tiny being, you feel they have been with you your whole life.  This is love beyond any measure you thought possible, you would do anything.. ANYTHING to protect this person, this part of you.  You take your perfect child that you love beyond compare to the doctor who you’ve always been taught is looking out for the health of the people. This doctor will green stamp your little one and ensure that he remains healthy.  This larger than life figure with years of education, has dedicated their life to protecting children and you will make the necessary sacrifices to bring your child to this person, as you KNOW they are on your side. You hand your perfect child to this stranger that for some reason you’ve been taught to trust.  They take your child and put him on a cold, hard table while the nurse assists in holding down your child, so he cannot move, while she proceeds to inject him with a sharp needle.  You are mortified, ‘please, how can you do this to my child.. Can’t you see he’s terrified…’ Oh but the doctor… This trusted employee… This stranger you trust more than yourself, has assured you that this is for the child’s best…  It is for the ‘greater good’ of humanity and you reluctantly agree to continue.  Then you take your child home while he cries in the car all the way. You bring him to a comfortable spot to nurse him and calm his fears.  He has trouble sitting still and won’t calm, he won’t latch to your breast, he seems to have spiked a fever, you give him Tylenol as the doctor prescribed and he falls asleep.  When he wakes, you no longer recognize your healthy child.  He has stopped talking; he doesn’t look at you; he no longer recognizes his own name.. You call the doctor and scream into the phone ‘what have you done to my child??’ They assure you it is fine and your child was not affected by the vaccines that were given.. ‘No, this wasn’t what you saw.. This thing didn’t happen..’ You believe them and take your child back a few months later and do it again and again and again until your child is completely gone.  Nothing of the healthy child you once knew seems to be left.  They have been so badly damaged by this thing that is not supposed to cause damage. The doctor still assures you, you have not seen what you saw.. You no longer believe him.

You start to research vaccines and find that this thing that you saw, that your doctor repeatedly denied actually happens all the time; not only that, but this thing that your child was given is filled with toxins and many other things you don’t even recognize.  You think that perhaps sacrifices are necessary for the ‘greater good’ just as the doctor has said.  You then look further only to find this too, is a lie.  These things.. These vaccines that hurt your child weren’t even verified to be effective at preventing disease.. In fact there is no evidence to support they have eradicated disease… So much for the ‘greater good’, huh?  You are baffled and wondering how and why did this doctor tell you all these things?  Why did you believe him? How did this happen?  How did it come to this?

And now your child is left damaged.. Possible irrecoverably.. And for what?  You are angry.. So angry you can hardly breathe.. You begin to see it everywhere you go.. All the children that look like your child.. DAMAGED.. All the lies you are told about the ‘greater good’… You begin to question if anything you have been told is true… How can the wool have been so completely pulled over everyone’s eyes.. You try to tell people every chance you get but they won’t listen.. They get angry at you and call you names.. They think you are crazy even when you show them the historical data that vaccines never eradicated disease; Jonas Salk did not cure polio.. ‘please, hear what I’m telling you, our children don’t need to be damaged like this..’  You would think that people would be grateful for this knowledge to protect their children but they don’t appear to be.. You see their children are already damaged too.. One at 12 years old still cannot read, another has multiply chemical sensitivities, another auto-immune, another with uncontrollable seizures and another who has died… You tell them, all of this.. ALL these things can be explained in the vaccine science and we don’t even need them, it’s right in the pharmaceutical company’s own literature.. But no one wants to read what you’ve read and no one wants to hear what you have to say and no one wants to stop vaccinating and you are ostracized.

So as you sit bewildered you ask once again… “How does it come to this?  If the data is so clear, why doesn’t anyone know?  And why do I feel so alone? I can’t possibly be the only one nor the first to see this, so where is everyone else?”

Enter the propaganda machine and a hidden history….

The Anti-Vaccine Movement: A Hidden History and Propaganda!

Continue reading

Before the First Cup, guest April Boden – Immunity, Deception & the Global Petri Dish 4-24-2017

Before the First Cup – Social Engineering, Peer Pressure, Personal Data & 21st C Panopticon 4-14-17 – http://ucy.tv/Pages/Video/2Fy-Fef0pSM

AYDAN’S ROAD TO RECOVERY –
https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com/

The Truth About Vaccines – https://go.thetruthaboutvaccines.com/

Why I don’t trust Robert Kennedy, Jr. – https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com/2017/04/23/1058/

Bedford’s RFK Jr. bashes vaccine bill in Albany –
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2015/06/02/rfk-bedford-vaccine-bill/28368943/

Deadly Immunity –
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/deadly-immunity-20110209

Former Merck Scientists Sue Merck Alleging MMR Vaccine Efficacy Fraud – http://ahrp.org/former-merck-scientists-sue-merck-alleging-mmr-vaccine-efficacy-fraud/

Former CDC Head and Current Merck President Caught in Fraud Scandal – http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1164827

REP. Bill Posey Calling for Investigation into CDC’s MMR fraud – https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4546421/rep-bill-posey-calling-investigation-cdcs-mmr-reasearch-fraud

Measles virus for cancer therapy –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3926122/

Emerging Risks of Live Virus & Virus Vectored Vaccines –
http://www.nvic.org/cmstemplates/nvic/pdf/live-virus-vaccines-and-vaccine-shedding.pdf

CRISPR genome editing and immunotherapy – the early adopter – https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-04-crispr-genome-immunotherapy-early.html

Nanoparticle vaccine shows potential as immunotherapy to fight multiple cancer types – https://phys.org/news/2017-04-nanoparticle-vaccine-potential-immunotherapy-multiple.html

U.S. CONTINUES DEFENSIVE GERM WARFARE RESEARCH –
http://www.nytimes.com/1982/09/07/us/us-continues-defensive-germ-warfare-research.html

FDA questioned about genetically engineered HPV DNA in Gardasil – http://www.beyondconformity.org.nz/hilarys-desk/fda_questioned_about_genetically_engineered_hpv_dna_in_gardasil_worldwide

Before the First Cup with Jules – New Gardasil-9, FDA, Plum Island
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdLYhl1pwrQ

Before the First Cup with Jules – Gardasil Vax Makes HPV Infection MORE Likely 4-30-2015 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74mA2nrVM2g

Co-evolving Antivirals Aim to Keep Ahead of Fast-Changing Viruses – http://www.darpa.mil/news-events/2016-04-07a

DARPA INTERCEPT Program for Biodefense Countermeasures – https://globalbiodefense.com/2016/04/11/darpa-bto-intercept-therapeutic-platform/

Immunization Safety Review: SV40 Contamination of Polio Vaccine and Cancer –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK221112/

Vaccines Cultured in Chick Embryos Contain Retroviruses With Cancer Risk to Humans – http://www.vaccines.me/articles/bdijz-vaccines-cultured-in-chick-embryos-contain-retroviruses-with-cancer-risk-to-humans.cfm

Pig Virus DNA Found in Rotavirus Vaccine –
http://www.webmd.com/children/vaccines/news/20100322/pig-virus-found-in-gsk-rotavirus-vaccine#1

Humans have antibodies reactive with Bovine leukemia virus –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14709247

Bovine Leukemia Virus DNA in Human Breast Tissue –
https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/20/5/13-1298_article

Bovine Leukosis Virus (BLV) on U.S. Dairy Operations, 2007 –
https://www.aphis.usda.gov/animal_health/nahms/dairy/downloads/dairy07/Dairy07_is_BLV.pdf

Executive Order — Advancing the Global Health Security Agenda
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2016/11/04/executive-order-advancing-global-health-security-agenda-achieve-world

The Prion Chronicles: The Story Of Interferon – https://realitybloger.wordpress.com/2014/12/04/the-prion-chronicles-the-story-of-interferon/

Activation of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus Type 1 Long Terminal Repeat by Vaccinia Virus –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC288995/pdf/jvirol00166-0237.pdf

AIDS Epidemic Triggered by Smallpox Vaccine –
https://i1.wp.com/truthquest2.com/assets/londontimesarticle.jpg

California School Provides Door to Door Vaccination!
http://aydansrecovery.blogspot.com/2011/10/california-school-provides-door-to-door.html

Baboon Study Reveals New Shortcoming of Pertussis Vaccine –
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/baboon-study-reveals-new-shortcoming-of-pertussis-vaccine/

Duration of virus shedding after trivalent intranasal live attenuated influenza vaccination –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15954490

Avian Flu Shedding –
http://www.fao.org/avianflu/en/qanda.html#10

Man Has Polio Virus Living in Gut for 30 Years –
http://www.livescience.com/52004-polio-virus-gut-shedding.html

Persistent measles virus infection of the intestine: confirmation by immunogold electron microscopy. –
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7737565

Shape-Shifting Vaccines Wanted for Killer Viruses –
https://www.seeker.com/shape-shifting-vaccines-wanted-for-killer-viruses-1771196682.html

Trump administration removes Obama surgeon general – https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/22/trump-administration-removes-surgeon-general-vivek-murthy

Why I don’t trust Robert Kennedy, Jr.

A run down on why RFK Jr is not a part of the anti-vaccine movement. He continues to support mandatory vaccines and doesn’t address the elephant sized hoax in the room, herd immunity myth.

The Deadly Impossibility Of Herd Immunity Through Vaccination, by Dr. Russell Blaylock: http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/2012/02/18/the-deadly-impossibility-of-herd-immunity-through-vaccination-by-dr-russell-blaylock/

ROBERT KENNEDY JR VS TUCKER CARLSON (4/20/2017): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COm17PrYq38

Robert Kennedy Jr. wades into debate over mandatory vaccination bill: http://www.latimes.com/local/political/la-me-pc-robert-kennedy-jr-mandatory-vaccination-bill-20150407-story.html

Aydans Road to Recovery: https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com/

Truther Talk: http://truthertalk.com/

April Boden on Vaccines and the Medical Industrial Complex

Published on Apr 20, 2017

April Boden joins Our Interesting Times to discuss the risks of vaccines as well as the origins of the medical industrial complex and how it relates to the New World Order.

April is the mother of three children, a former podcast host and a blogger. Her son Aydan contracted autism at age one after being vaccinated. Her website is aydansrecovery.wordpress.com.

UnSpun 064 – April Boden: “Vaccines: What Your Doctor Didn’t Tell You”

Originally aired on April 11, 2017:

Tonight at 5pm PST – April Boden joins us to discuss vaccines and Aydan’s story. April Boden is a mom, former podcast host, and blogger, and joins us from https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com to discuss the facts of vaccines that you won’t hear from your doctor or the MSM. April’s son, Aydan, contracted autism via vaccine when he was one year old. April has fought to expose vaccines and the agenda behind them for many years. This is a show you don’t want to miss. Join us live at 5pm.

Vaccine Injury Awareness!

This mom shares her experience as an autism mom via an amazing essay she wrote. She also covers topics such as the abusive educational system, CDC ignorance, and why you should never ever think about giving your time, money and energy to Autism Speaks.
#Aydansrecoveryblogspot
#Vaccinesdestroylives
#thetruthaboutvaccines
#vaccineskill
#Billgatesisamurderer

A MOTHER’S DESCRIPTION OF WATCHING HER SON SLIDE INTO AUTISM AFTER VACCINE…AND SHE WANTS HER SON BACK – GAIA HEALTH

A Mother’s Description of Watching Her Son Slide into Autism After Vaccine…and She Wants Her Son Back.
https://therefusers.com/a-mothers-description-of-watching-her-son-slide-into-autism-after-vaccineand-she-wants-her-son-back-gaia-health/

VACCINES AND THE DARK UNDERWORLD OF OBSTETRICS AND PEDIATRICS

CHILDREN ARE BEING SEVERELY HARMED BY OBSTETRICIANS AND PEDIATRICIANS
3-17 – This video is about infants and very young children being severely harmed by obstetricians and pediatricians. Jeanice Barcelo interviews April Boden, the mother of a vaccine injured child. April describes her journey to motherhood as one of trauma and abuse at the hands of a psychopathic obstetrician who never even bothered to make eye contact with her during labor or childbirth. Numerous unnecessary ultrasounds during pregnancy, combined with a forced induction that was halted due to a nurse’s intervention, as well as amniotomy, pitocin, and 25 failed epidural attempts, made her birthing experience absurdly traumatic both for herself and her son, Aydan. Despite being separated from her son for SIX HOURS after birth, April and Aydan were recovering successfully from birth trauma and bonding strongly. Then disaster hit. Just after Aydan had turned 1, he was given several vaccines at once and he suffered neurological and physical damage that led to autism. April describes her experience of watching the changes in her son, which include loss of speech and repeatedly walking around in circles on tippy toes when at the playground. Despite the obvious vaccine injury, the pediatrician continued to insist that Aydan was “within the normal range” and that vaccines could not possibly have caused a problem.
Please listen to this amazing mother’s story and tune in to Ty Bollinger’s new docu-series, “The Truth about Vaccines,” during which April and her son will be interviewed. You can view the series here: The Truth About Vaccines
Websites:
April Boden: Aydan’s Road to Recovery https://aydansrecovery.wordpress.com/ and Truther Talk http://truthertalk.com/
Jeanice Barcelo: Birth of a New Earth – television show http://www.BirthofaNewEarth.com
Also please check out my vision for community: Birth of a New Earth Radio Show https://www.patreon.com/BirthofaNewEa…
For more great videos from Birth of a New Earth, please visit Naturally Better TV: http://www.naturallybetter.tv/network…
Vaccine Injury Awareness: The Effects of Trauma!: https://youtu.be/9qQdjioGg3I

VAXXED through the eyes of an Autism Mom!

There’s a ton of reviews out there about the film Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe but I haven’t written mine yet, so here we go…

This last April just in time for Autism Awareness Month.. which I hate by the way, as I see it as nothing more than an in your face ritual child sacrifice to the cult of Baal or the God Moloch or some other such demonic being… Or at the least a marketing strategy that morbidly celebrates chemically induced brain damage… But anyway.. I hate autism awareness month and it’s not just that I hate it but for the past several years April is a month that brings out the worst in my severely autistic son, Aydan’s symptoms.. Could it be histamine? Or seasonal changes or what?? We’ve tested couldn’t find anything but yet it still happens.. Sound familiar autism moms?

Anyway.. though my name is April, I hate the month of April.. When T.S. Eliott wrote ‘April is the cruelest month..’ he wasn’t lying.. So, I ignored the Vaxxed news.  I didn’t have time to dwell on a film about what had happened to my vaccine injured child,  as I was too busy dealing with my vaccine injured child.  I wasn’t on any social media and didn’t have any interest, I just wanted my child to get better.. I just wanted to be his mommy and nothing else.

In the month of May I received an email notifying me that to my surprise a screening was about 5 minutes from my house with a filmmakers’ Q & A directly following the show. I live in a small town about an hour north of Los Angeles where the screening had appeared previously on my son’s birthday (ironically in April), so I didn’t go to that one nor do I go to much anything that is an hour away.. But here it was just 5 minutes..  I could get away for a couple of hours and go see it; and I did.

I knew what the film was about. I knew just about all the information presented. I knew that the CDC lied about the MMR vaccine / autism connection. I knew that Andrew Wakefield was precisely correct and that everything he described happening to his patients all of whom had gut disease and were subsequently diagnosed with autism following MMR vaccination, happened to my son in the exact same way.  I heard the mother’s in the film talk about their child’s regression into autism following MMR and it was exactly what had happened to mine.  I heard these stories 1000s of times from 1000s of parents..

So, I sat in the theater and expected to be under-whelmed by the information since after all I knew everything, right?  What I didn’t know was how seeing our story play out before my eyes would affect me emotionally.  Within the first 5 minutes I began to bite my lip in an effort to try to prevent the tears from streaming down my face… I couldn’t stop them.. I tried to clear my eyes, so I could see the screen but I had to look away several times just to compose myself.. I cried because I thought of all the things I had been too busy to deal with in the previous month.. I cried because I thought of all the years of struggle and wasted time… I cried because I thought of my son and his gut pain and how he dealt with it by hurting himself and others at times.. I cried because I felt loss… I cried because I was angry that as mothers we told this story 1000s of times and that it took exposing a bunch of lying officials for anyone to care.. Or even half care… I cried because I couldn’t help myself, it was just too much…

At the end of the film when producer, Del Bigtree asked the families’ of the vaccine injured to stand, I stood.. I didn’t want to as my knees were knocking and I knew once again it would be hard to compose myself..

Many people at the end stuck around to socialize and talk to the filmmakers but I was eager to get home to my family and I knew my time was limited.  When I arrived at home I could see a group of not to happy people. Chaos had ensued and yet another melt down had occurred followed by a number two, bathroom accident because well.. My son received the MMR vaccine and developed gut disease and was subsequently diagnosed with autism..  I mean.. Do I really need to keep saying this?  This scene has been common place since about mid-February and the thing that prompted me to write this essay is that it happened two more times just today.. And ‘yes’ he is toilet trained and ‘yes’ we have seen the doctor and run the tests and the tests have rendered us no answers.. Sound familiar autism moms?

So back to my review of Vaxxed.. I’m glad this information has finally come out of the shadow and into the light.  I’m grateful that there’s been a whistle-blower who had a crisis of conscience that will hopefully spare many children from the same fate as my son.  This film has awakened many including members of my own family to the truth, which is undeniably a positive move in the right direction.. But I still have to clean up poop from the porch and bring out my carpet cleaner a couple of times a week.. My son still has to suffer with severe gut pain and little to no ability to express his feelings… And I as his mother suffer right along with him. I wrote an essay about 6 years ago where I stated I would give my life to God if I could take away one.. just ONE vaccine that had been given to my son, because I know that seemingly small thing would make his life better today.  So Vaxxed?  Yes, it’s good film, an important film that everyone should see but it is a story about real people, a story about real suffering and a story that should have never needed to be told.. And unfortunately, it’s a story that can’t take away the damage that has been done.