When you have a child diagnosed with severe special needs, some of the early questions on your mind sound a bit like this… Will they marry? Will they have friends? Will they fall in love? Will they happy? And on the list goes… These aren’t wishes for ‘normalcy’ as much as a life fulfilled. I was and am always wondering if Aydan feels he’s missing out.
In my writing and blogging, I often focus on exposing the people of this world who are harming our children through vaccination. Whether or not this is intentional destruction for world domination or merely incompetence and greed isn’t as clear as the fact that it’s happening. We can no longer dispute the facts on that.
But today, I’d like to expose another truth.. There are many good people in the world. When we moved to the area in Southern California, Aydan and my oldest son, Avery were 4 and 6. We found out about a local church that offered 3 hour respite care, free for families with special needs children. They would provide everything from bouncy castles, music, therapy dogs, and so much more with one on one attention for each child and their siblings. It started once a month, I’d drop the boys off. My son, Avery would ask all month long ‘is ‘Buddy Breaks’ this weekend?’ As the years went on more churches in the area started offering this service. At one point it was 3 Saturday mornings and a Friday evening, which was our favorite as it gave my husband and I a date night. He’s always had to work Saturdays, so I’d use the time to clean the house, get coffee, go shopping.. whatever I needed that day.
As Avery got older, I began dropping off Aydan and taking Avery on a special date. With my weekly schedule so filled with Aydan’s therapy or 1-1 time, etc.. This was a time just for me and Avery. I have a memory of him being around 8 or 9 and the movie, ‘The Lorax’ had just come out. A restaurant nearby was doing a special Lorax themed breakfast, so we decided to use this time for brunch and a movie. We talked about it for weeks and on the day of, he woke up and ran into the hallway, gave me a big hug as he exclaimed… ‘it’s Lorax day!’ Avery will be 15 tomorrow, so hugs aren’t nearly as easy to come by. I will remember this day forever.
Aydan has always had a good time going and everyone there treats him with utter respect. People often forget that just because someone is non-verbal doesn’t mean they are babies. Too many well intended teachers and therapists will talk to a non-verbal child like a baby or they’re deaf or they’re dumb well into their teens and adulthood. It takes special individuals to always see the value in others. We’ve had the pleasure of knowing many of these people.
So.. last night one of the churches we’ve been going to for Buddy Breaks over the years, invites us to a Valentine’s Dance. We’d never been invited before, so I didn’t know what to expect. When we arrived I was amazed to see, this was the real deal.. The whole kit and caboodle… Dancing, food, drinks, Dj… They even had a red carpet with photos and a crowd cheering on the tweens and teens as they went inside… A real formal. It was great.
When I arrived to pick him up at the end of the night, I was taken to the dance floor by the event organizer. I could see him across the room hanging out with about 5 cool looking teens including his date. She reported back to me that Aydan was the perfect escort as she held her hand to heart. At both pick up and drop off, I had to fight tears as I am now just thinking of the night.
Our kids on the spectrum work so much harder than most kids their age, I think they deserve a night to be the center of attention in a positive way.
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